My cowboy boots swung from a bar stool as I answered, "Yes, the COUNTRY India" for the upteenth time. It was after work on a summer Montana night and my boss and co-workers from the ranch still couldn't comprehend the country India, let alone point it out on a map. They all stared at their beer for awhile and then started to chime in,

It had nothing to do with the Taliban or civil unrest or anything of the sort - just Raju. I'm sorry but that man gets under my skin! And there is only so much you can chalk up to cultural differences. And since I do get along with Abdul and Sajiid so well, I feel comfortable saying - I can't stand the man.

I can't ever understand what he's saying and I'm giving him that look that plainly says, "Raju, I can't understand what the F you're saying." So he just throws up his hands and laughs and repeats the same mumble jumble louder! No Raju I can HEAR you but I can't UNDERSTAND you. Please just let me read my book.

Often when I do occasionally catch on to what he's saying, he's trying to convert me to Christianity. Apparently, I look like I'm going to hell. But the worst is when he snaps his fingers at Kara and claps in her face like she's a puppy. My mama bear instincts kick in and I feel like slapping him.

And thats where our trouble began tonight. He kept calling me like a dog.

(the rickshaw I considered throwing myself out of)

Even though Raju isn't my ideal travel companion, when he invited me to go to his church, I couldn't refuse. I love to get out of the house and explore. Plus the celebration is in honor of Mary Mother's landing. Apparently she flies around for a few days and then she lands and they have a big party, it sounds too bizarre to pass up. So tonight I went to go celebrate Mary Mother's landing with Raju, his gay lover (at least that's my theory), and his family.

(Raju and Raju. I think they may be lovers.)

We had barely left the gate of Whisper Valley when Raju looked over his shoulder and said "Come madam!" I was, literally, close enough to touch him. He looked over his shoulder a moment later and said. "Madam, come!" All I could think was how closely I was following him. Did he want me to hold his hand? "Madam. cooommmmeee!"

"I'm right here Raju!" I finally retorted back. I couldn't take it. We were not off to a good start.

He just barks orders. It can get so frustrating. Here is the reader's digest version of our trip to Raju's church to celebrate mother Mary's landing. "Come Madam. Sit! Take picture madam! Look at the church! Look! Loook Madam! Did you see? I will show you on the way back. Stand here madam I will take your picture. Move over. No, more. Now go back. Do I push this button? Come Madam. This is hospital Madam. Many many sick people here. We'll walk around. Come Madam. Take picture of statue madam. This one too. Now I take picture of you. Come madam. Here's the church again madam. Look! Loook Madam. Madam, looook! You want picture, oh you want, give me camera madam.

The bright side of this trip was I got to meet Raju's family. He has three beautiful daughters and my heart just melts when it comes to kids so that was wonderful. They were so sweet, but unfortunately, we just stayed long enough for me to ask some basic questions and take a few pictures.

(Random window picture at the church that I liked)

It was on the way back that I really just couldn't take it anymore. I was tired and we were in the rickshaw on the way home when it started to pour monsoon rains. Trucks drove by splashing water into the open rickshaw and I was getting soaked. Something happened and the driver and Raju started getting into an argument, I think about how much further the driver had to go. Anyways, the rickshaw stopped and we all had to get out. It was pouring rain and the streets were starting to flood. I was ankle deep in water so brown I couldn't see my toes and the smell wafting up almost made me puke. To top it off, all I could think about was the water and all the scenes of India that I see on a daily basis - women spitting, dead dogs on the side of the road covered in flies, people washing themselves in roadside ditches, rotten maggoty food, men urinating wherever is most convenient. All I could think was, 'I'm ankle deep in India and I can't see my toes.' I took about ten steps and my next thought was 'Applebees.' I need my cowboys to whisk me away to a hot shower and a steak house.

(rickshaw ride in the rain)

By the time we reached the house I was so drenched, filthy, tired, and frustrated. When Raju started talking to me I just blocked his face with my umbrella.

But of course next Sunday I have plans to go to his house. I just couldn't say no to seeing his daughters again.